DATELINE SANTA FE NEWS FLASH: GOVERNOR SUSANA MARTINEZ HAS BEEN OFFERED A JOB TO PLAY ROSEANNE BARR’S LONG LOST TWIN SISTER IN THE ANNOUNCED SPIN OFF WITHOUT BARR TO REVIVE THE SERIES. The Governor issued a statement saying she is honored to accept the job so she will have gainful employment come January 1, 2019. Roseanne Barr for her part said the Governor is more than qualified but is concerned that the Trump FCC just may ask her for a “green card” to make sure she is in the United States legally. Rumor has it the Governor is desperately looking for her original birth certificate but may have left it at the NM MVD to renew her driver’s license for real ID.
DATE LINE LAS CRUCES NEWS FLASH: Confidential sources are saying political consultants are trying to get Congressman Steve Pearce to change his political slogan from “Steve Pearce. Working For New Mexico. Everyday” to “Steve Pearce. Curb Your Enthusiasm. Everyday”. The argument being made is that the new campaign utilizing “Curb Your Enthusiasm” will better reflect how Pearce’s candidacy for Governor is being received by the voters of New Mexico. The Congressman is resisting it believing that Larry David would probably sue to get a restraining order to protect his tly image and the brand of the TV show. Pearce is confident that his feel good ad he ran in the primary that said “I was born a poor white guy and I struggled as an infant of tender months to overcome obstacles to live in Texas as my family became millionaires” has helped increased his poll numbers. Pearce is also concerned if he goes forward with the slogan change it will ruin his chances of going to work full time for the sic com come January 1, 2019 as a fill in for Larry David. For his part, it is said Larry David believes the change in the slogan will result in the TV ratings going down for his show in New Mexico. Stay tuned for more on this developing story.
DISCLAIMER: THE ABOVE NEWS RELEASES ARE NOT TO BE CONSIDERED ANYTHING RELATED TO THE TRUTH FOR THOSE WHO TEND TO BELIEVE ANYTHING ON FACEBOOK AND THE INTERNET.